This article challenges Christians to reflect on how often they are perceived – not as loving, but as judgmental. It calls for the radical love Jesus modeled, sharing a powerful story from a club outreach where a woman’s raw question exposed the deep wounds left by misrepresentation in the Church.
Ask someone outside the Church what they think of Christians and the answers can sting: judgmental, harsh, hypocritical, closed-minded. Too often, Christianity isn’t known for mercy, kindness, or love – it’s known more for what it’s against than what it’s for.
Some Christians can seem angry and even hateful.
But that was never the way of Jesus.
The Club Story
One night, while doing outreach in a local club, I spoke with one of the women who worked there. In a moment of raw honesty, she looked at me with guarded eyes and asked a question I’ll never forget:
“Why would church people care about us?”
That question hit like a stone to the chest.
She wasn’t just asking about Christians – she was telling a story. A story of rejection, judgment, whispered comments and eyes that turned away. A story of pain.
My heart broke. And from somewhere deep inside, I answered:
“Oh, I hope one day you’d be able to say this instead, ‘Of course they are church people – they love us the most.’”
How Did We Get Here?
How did we go from being known for love to being known for judgment?
The early Church didn’t grow because of influence or power. It exploded in the face of persecution because Christians lived differently.
They loved deeply. They cared for orphans, served their enemies and embraced outcasts. Love wasn’t the tactic. It was the testimony.
But somewhere along the way, we confused holiness with harshness.
We tried so hard to defend truth that some of us forgot tenderness. We became more focused on pointing out what was wrong than on pointing people to the One who makes us right.
Jesus said:
“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
John 13:35 (NIV)
Not by our doctrine, memes, or Instagram captions. Not even by our church attendance.
By our love. Jesus is the truth but He is also the WAY. There is a way to follow and it’s marked by love.
When Christians Argue Online
I can’t count how many times I’ve seen Christians tearing into each other online and thought: Who would ever want to follow their Jesus or be part of that community?
Is that how believers honour and love each other?
It’s heartbreaking and it should concern all of us.
Our words are not just heard by those who agree with us. They’re read by:
• People far from Jesus.
• Youth and young adults quietly watching.
• People from other cultures and faiths.
• Those wounded by religion, wondering if there’s any good left in the Church.
What we say, how we say it, and when we say it matters. The world is watching.
Think Beyond Yourself
We all see life through our own lens. But spiritual maturity means lifting our eyes beyond our own experience and asking:
• Who is my real audience?
• How might this impact someone outside my faith?
• Am I representing Jesus – or just defending myself?
• Will my words draw people to Christ or push them further away?
We are ambassadors of Christ – we carriers of His tone, posture, compassionand wisdom.
Let’s be slow to speak, quick to listen and always mindful of the bigger picture.
What Kind of Love?
Let’s be clear: the love Jesus modeled wasn’t vague or passive. It was radical. It was costly.
His love walked into places others avoided.
It touched the untouchable.
It wept with the grieving, bled for the guilty and forgave the undeserving.
This kind of love isn’t a feeling – it’s a daily decision to see people not as labels, projects, or problems, but as image-bearers of God.
Paul described it like this:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”
1 Corinthians 13:4–5 (NIV)
Now imagine if that’s what people thought of when they heard the word Christian.
Love Doesn’t Compromise Truth It Embodies It
Some will push back, “But we have to speak the truth!”
Yes. But truth without love isn’t Christlike – it’s Pharisaical.
“The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory… full of grace and truth.”
John 1:14 (NIV)
When Jesus met the woman caught in adultery (John 8), He didn’t ignore her sin, but He also didn’t shame her. He defended her before He corrected her.
Grace first. Guidance second.
We must stop seeing people as problems to fix and start seeing them as people to love. The rest will follow.
It is possible to be biblical but not Christlike. Ask the Pharisees, or even the demons. It’s easy to quote scripture. It’s much harder to be like Jesus.
People are looking for Hope
That night in the club, that woman wasn’t looking for a debate. She was looking for hope.
People around us today are silently asking the same questions:
• Do church people care about those in addiction?
• Do they care about sex workers, the lonely, the angry, the hurting?
• Do they care about me – or just the version of me they want me to become?
What if our answer wasn’t just spoken, but lived?
What if Christians were known as:
• The first to show up.
• The last to leave.
• The ones who stay when it’s messy.
• The ones who serve without strings attached.
What if “Christian” didn’t bring up trauma, but comfort?
Love That Changes Everything
If we want to change the narrative, we can’t just point to the cross – we have to carry it.
That means dying to pride, reputation, and comfort.
“We love because he first loved us.”
1 John 4:19 (NIV)
The gospel isn’t just that God loved the world.
It’s that He loved me. You.
That girl in the club.
That man in prison.
That coworker who mocks your faith.
That neighbor who hates Christians.
And sometimes, the love of God flowing through us might be the only gospel they ever see.
Let Them Say, “Of Course They’re Christians”
One day, I want that woman’s words to change.
I want those who have been hurt, ignored, or judged by Christians to finally be able to say:
“Of course they’re Christians – they love us the most.”
Let the Church be known for:
• Healing the broken.
• Embracing the outcast.
• Protecting the vulnerable.
• Serving the least – not to earn God’s love, but because we’ve already received it.
The Final Word
It’s time to rewrite the story.
Not by watering down truth but by living it out with radical love.
The world doesn’t need more loud opinions. It needs quiet, fierce, undeniable love.
Because in the end, Jesus didn’t say they’d know us by how right we are.
He said they’d know us by how well we love.
Let’s be the reason someone dares to believe again.
Let’s be the ones who look like Jesus.
Let’s change the narrative.
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