Don’t Be Weird

There’s a difference between being set apart and being strange.

I remember my grandmother telling me that when she was a young girl, she used to iron her naturally curly hair so people wouldn’t think she was vain and had gotten a perm. She also told me that men in the church could only wear white shirts because wearing a coloured shirt was considered too flashy and somehow less holy.

During my childhood, I wasn’t allowed to do anything on Sunday other than attend church and have a nap, because it was a day of rest. I also couldn’t go to a movie theatre because if Jesus returned while I was there, He would never find me. Was I surprised at the age of 28 when I went to see my first movie “Beauty & the Beast”. I stood in line, hands shaking (for real) and then I realized that a theatre was just a room with chairs and a screen. I was shocked not to find the floor littered with condoms and needles. True story!

As Christians, are we called to live differently from the world? Scripture is clear about that. Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 6:17:

“Therefore, come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.”

For years, people have wrestled with what this means. Some have interpreted “be separate” to mean isolation, pulling away from culture, distancing themselves from people who don’t believe like they do, and building walls between “us” and “them.” Throughout history, there have even been and still are groups of believers who moved into compounds or disconnected themselves almost entirely from society because they believed holiness required separation from the world, literally.

But when we look at the life of Jesus, we see something very different.

Jesus Was Holy and Approachable

Jesus was holy, but also approachable. He was righteous, but He was welcoming. He was set apart, but He was constantly around broken people, hurting people, confused people, and sinful people. In fact, religious leaders criticized Him for it.

In Luke 15:2, the Pharisees complained:

“This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”

That accusation was meant as an insult, but it reveals the heart of Jesus beautifully. Jesus didn’t isolate Himself from people who needed love. He moved toward them.

For the past 19 years, I’ve spent time building relationships with women in the sex industry. Over the years, I’ve heard people question that choice and make comments about how a Christian shouldn’t be in those environments. But I keep coming back to one simple thought: how will people ever know they’re loved if no one is willing to go to them?

I think sometimes Christians are afraid of what they don’t understand. And in that fear, some create such extreme separation from the world that they end up disconnected from the very people Jesus called us to reach. But isolation was never the mission of the Gospel.

We are called to be wise, yes. We are called to be holy, yes. But we are also called to be present, to care and to listen. To bring hope into places that desperately need it.

You can’t be light in the darkness if you refuse to enter dark places.

Loving people where they are is not compromise, it’s compassion. And often, the people who seem furthest from church are the very people most desperate to know they are seen, valued, and deeply loved by God.

Many years ago I remember someone speaking to us in disgust about the number of people who were smoking outside of the church on a Sunday morning. My husband uncharacteristically responded “where would you rather they smoked?” His point being, the church is a place where we welcome everyone. Their habits don’t disqualify them from being welcomed into a church family. Jesus’s arms are open. People need to belong before they believe. They need to know their habits don’t disqualify them from hearing the gospel.

Don’t Live in an Echo Chamber

Part of being healthy, grounded Christians is learning how to engage with people who think differently than we do. When people isolate themselves from those who think differently, their thinking can slowly drift toward the fringe. Cults are a classic example: outsiders are kept at a distance, so beliefs, values, and behaviours go largely unchallenged.

The same dynamic can happen in everyday life. Some people build worlds where they only interact with others who think like them, talk like them, vote like them, and believe exactly what they believe. Over time, that isolation creates an echo chamber and echo chambers rarely produce maturity.

Growth happens when our ideas are tested. Being exposed to different perspectives challenges our assumptions, sharpens our thinking, and helps us develop wisdom rather than simply reinforcing what we already believe.

Not every conversation with someone outside the church is a threat to our faith. Sometimes those conversations expose blind spots, broaden our understanding, and remind us to lead with humility instead of arrogance.

Proverbs 27:17 says:

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

Growth often happens through friction.

When we only surround ourselves with voices that repeat our opinions back to us, we can slowly lose compassion and perspective. We begin talking about people instead of actually knowing people. Assumptions replace understanding and fear replaces empathy.

Jesus never lived inside an echo chamber. He talked with fishermen, tax collectors, Pharisees, skeptics, Romans, sinners, and outsiders. He asked questions. He listened. He engaged. He wasn’t afraid of conversations with people who saw the world differently because truth doesn’t panic when challenged.

As believers, we should be secure enough in Christ to have honest conversations without becoming defensive or hostile. We can be confident in our convictions while still remaining compassionate and curious. People often have strong opinions about things until the “thing” happens to them. There are nuances and lived experience that provoke us to think deeper.

It’s possible that the people who challenge us the most are also the people who help us grow the most. The goal isn’t to isolate ourselves from the world until we become disconnected from reality. The goal is to be rooted in Christ while remaining engaged with people.

That’s how we become salt and light. “Us four and no more” isn’t a good tag line for a church. We need to see and engage with the world outside our windows. It helps us be less weird.

Holiness Doesn’t Mean Weird

Sometimes Christians can become so consumed with appearing spiritual that they lose sight of the simplicity of walking with God. Not every decision requires dramatic spiritualization. God cares about our lives deeply, yes, but maturity also means wisdom, peace, and balance. Faith was never meant to make us bizarre. It was meant to make us loving.

Paul reminds us in Colossians 4:5-6:

“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt…”

Notice that Paul doesn’t say to avoid outsiders. He says to be wise around them. Grace-filled, thoughtful and engaging.

The Church Should Feel Like Hope

The church should be the most welcoming place on earth. Not because we compromise truth, but because we reflect the heart of Jesus. People should encounter hope when they encounter believers. They should feel seen, valued, and loved. That doesn’t mean affirming every lifestyle or abandoning biblical conviction. Jesus never compromised truth, but He delivered truth through relationship and compassion.

Truth without love becomes harsh. Love without truth becomes hollow.

But when truth and love walk together, people encounter Jesus.

In John 13:35, Jesus said:

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

He didn’t say the world would recognize us by how strange we are, how isolated we are, or how loudly we condemn everyone else. He said love would be the evidence.

Different in the Right Way

That kind of love stands out. In a culture filled with outrage, division, and hostility, believers have an incredible opportunity to be different in the best possible way. We can be people who listen before speaking. People who serve instead of criticize. People who extend compassion instead of constantly searching for faults.

We can disagree without being cruel. We can hold convictions without acting arrogant. We can be holy without becoming unapproachable.

That’s what being “set apart” really looks like.

Romans 12:2 tells us not to conform to the pattern of this world, but transformation doesn’t happen through isolation alone. It happens through surrender to God and renewal of the mind. Christians are called to influence the world, not abandon it.

Salt only works when it touches something.

Light only changes darkness when it enters it.

Sent Into the World

Jesus prayed something powerful in John 17:15-18:

“My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one… As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world.”

We are sent into the world.

Into workplaces. Into neighborhoods. Into schools. Into conversations. Into friendships. Into communities full of people who don’t yet know the goodness of God.

And when we go, we should carry His heart.

That means compassion for struggling people. Patience with those who ask hard questions. Grace for those who are messy. Humility instead of self-righteousness.

The goal isn’t to become weirdly detached from society.

The goal is to become so much like Jesus that people experience something different when they encounter us.

Not condemnation.

Not religious performance.

Not artificial spirituality.

But genuine love, peace, wisdom, and joy.

Final Thoughts

The world doesn’t need Christians who are better at judging people or completely disconnected from reality. I remember a woman telling me after an 18-hour flight that she had a “spirit of fatigue” and needed prayer to cast it out so she could go on outreach. I said, “Or maybe it’s just jet lag.”

Not every normal physical or emotional experience is a spiritual attack. Sometimes we’re tired because we haven’t slept. Sometimes we’re stressed because life is hard. When we turn every ordinary situation into something hyper-spiritual, we start leaning into weird instead of wisdom.

We also don’t need to pray about havarti or cheddar on our sandwiches or should I wear the red or blue shirt. God gave us a brain and decision making abilities.The world needs Christians who aren’t weird.

Yes, we are called to be different. But different in the way Jesus was different, full of truth, full of love and grace, and fully engaged with the people around Him.

So be holy.

Be faithful.

Be set apart.

Be different for all the the right reasons.

And don’t be weird.