Parenting is one of the hardest things we’ll ever do. The responsibility feels heavy, our lack of experience is obvious, and there’s no manual that comes with the job. But don’t worry. Children don’t need perfect parents. They need parents who genuinely love Jesus and are willing to follow Him day by day. He’ll help you every step of the way.
Truthfully, I often prayed this:
“We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on You.”
2 Chronicles 20:12:
This comes from King Jehoshaphat praying when Judah was overwhelmed and afraid. It’s often quoted as a reminder to trust God when we feel uncertain or helpless. There were many times I didn’t know what to do, many times I felt helpless, so I prayed. I’m pretty sure many of us feel like this. Thankfully we serve God and He gives us strength and wisdom in the moments we need it most.
Helping Our Children See Jesus Through Everyday Life
Raising children to follow Jesus is one of the greatest privileges God gives us as parents. Church programs, youth groups, Christian schools, and mission trips can all play meaningful roles in a child’s spiritual growth, but they only impact our kids a few hours a week. With God’s help, the home can become the strongest influence of all. Children notice authenticity. They have a highly tuned hypocrisy sensor built in.
For families who have served in ministry, this truth becomes even more important. After serving as pastors for thirty years and then transitioning into missionary life for ten years in Thailand, our family experienced both the beauty and the challenges of raising children in ministry. She grew up as a Pastor’s kid and she was was fifteen years old when we moved to Thailand, and she attended high school there. That season taught us lessons about faith, sacrifice, family unity, and the importance of living consistently. We included her in the decision to go, and she whole heartedly embraced it, and along the way she even taught us a few things about change, trust, and adjusting to new seasons.
Authenticity Matters More Than Perfection
Being authentic is key. One reason many young people struggle with faith is because they see inconsistency. Kids can become discouraged when they hear one thing at church but experience something very different at home. If parents worship passionately in public but speak harshly at home, children notice. If grace is preached but bitterness fills everyday conversations, children can feel confused by the contradiction.
When our daughter was in college, she mentioned that many of her friends had walked away from their faith. I asked her why she thought she still believed. Her answer was simple: “Jesus was in our house.”
That reminder has stayed with me. How we live out our faith off the stage and behind closed doors matters. We weren’t perfect parents, and I’m sure we made plenty of mistakes. But we did the best we could with what we knew, and we never tried to pretend we were something we weren’t.
Authentic Christianity means learning to live the same way at home, at church, and in public. None of us do this perfectly, but by God’s grace we can continue growing.
Children need to see parents who are willing to apologize when they fail, forgive quickly, and sincerely seek Jesus. Authentic faith says, “I’m not perfect, but I’m following Jesus.”
Let the Fruit of the Spirit Be Seen
Children often learn more from observation than instruction. They’re watching how we respond to stress, disappointment, conflict, interruptions, and pressure.
Galatians reminds us:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” — Galatians 5:22–23
With God’s help, these qualities can become visible in our homes. Love means showing affection and creating emotional safety. Joy means laughter, gratitude, and celebrating God’s goodness together. Peace means children can feel secure, even during difficult seasons. Patience means slowing down long enough to listen and understand. Kindness means speaking gently and treating one another with respect.
Children who grow up in homes marked by the fruit of the Spirit are far more likely to see Christianity as beautiful, sincere, and life giving. Beautiful fruit points them to our beautiful Jesus.
One Sunday night at church, I was praying at the altar and crying a little. Our daughter was about five at the time, and she looked up at me with big concerned eyes and asked, “Mommy, why are you crying?” Trying to keep it simple, I told her, “I’m praying and asking Jesus to help make me a nicer person.” She nodded very seriously, like she completely understood, and we drove home.
Later that night, I was getting her ready for bed and brushing her teeth. Except she suddenly decided her mouth was staying CLOSED. I asked nicely repeatedly. Nothing. I asked again with a little more “mom voice.” Still nothing. Finally, I gently squeezed her cheeks and said louder and stronger , “Open your mouth.” Without missing a beat, she looked me dead in the eyes and said, “Mommy… your prayers aren’t working.” Honestly, I almost laughed right there with the toothbrush still in my hand.
Like I said, we weren’t perfect parents.
The goal is to live with the fruit of the Spirit evident in your life but that doesn’t mean you’ll never raise your voice or say things you wish you hadn’t. It means you’re trying to honour Jesus with your life in front of your kids, even though you’ll sometimes fall short. Your parenting will never be perfect, but with God’s help, the fruit will speak louder than the failures.
The Unique Challenges of Pastors’ Kids and Missionary Kids
Pastors’ kids and missionary kids often carry pressures that others may not fully understand. They can sometimes feel like they’re constantly being watched or expected to behave perfectly. Ministry families can also unintentionally allow church responsibilities to compete with family connection.
For missionary kids, the challenges can become even greater. Moving to another country often involves culture shock, language barriers, loneliness, and grief over leaving familiar friends and places behind.
When our daughter moved to Thailand at fifteen years old, she faced many adjustments. High school is already a challenging season, but adapting to life in another culture added another layer of difficulty. Yet through it all, God used that experience to deepen her faith, broaden her compassion, and strengthen our family bond. She actually flourished.
One important lesson we learned was this: children need to know they matter more than ministry. Jesus never intended ministry to damage families. Ministry flows healthiest from a strong relationship with Jesus and healthy relationships within the home.
As parents, we can do our best to create space for listening, encouraging, and emotionally connecting with our children. Sometimes children simply need permission to express sadness, frustration, or fear without feeling guilty for having those emotions.
Serving Jesus Together Builds Lasting Faith
One of the most powerful ways to help children love Jesus is serving Him together as a family.
Faith becomes personal when children experience it firsthand. When families pray together, serve together, give together, and minister together, children begin to understand that Christianity is not simply a belief system. It becomes a way of life.
Serving the homeless, helping a family in need, praying for others, visiting lonely people, or encouraging missionaries can shape a child’s heart. These experiences teach compassion, humility, generosity, and love for people.
In Thailand, we saw how serving others transformed not only the people being helped but also our own family. Ministry was no longer just something Mom and Dad were doing. It became something we were doing together for Jesus. We tried to include our daughter as much as possible both as a pastor’s kid and as a missionary kid. She helped feed the homeless in Brampton, took part in church outreaches, gave blankets to children in northern Thailand, and participated in ministry trips throughout Southeast Asia. This has marked her forever.
James reminds us:
“Faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.” — James 2:17
Children need opportunities to live out their faith in practical ways.
Even small acts can leave lasting impressions:
- Delivering meals to someone who is sick
- Praying for neighbours
- Serving at church together
- Helping the homeless
- Writing encouragement cards
- Showing kindness to strangers
These moments help children see the heart of Jesus in action.
Model a Loving Marriage
One of the clearest pictures of God’s love children will ever see is the relationship between their parents. Children thrive when they see love, affection, forgiveness, teamwork, encouragement, and respect between husband and wife.
Ephesians teaches:
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32
Let your children hear encouraging words and see affection between you and your spouse. Let them see healthy communication, forgiveness, and reconciliation. A loving marriage creates security and reflects Christlike love in everyday life.
Ministry can easily consume families if couples are not intentional, but children often remember the atmosphere of the home more than ministry accomplishments.
Practical Ways to Help Children Follow Jesus
1. Let Them See You Read the Bible
Children need to see that Scripture matters to you personally, not only professionally. Read the Bible openly and naturally as part of daily life.
2. Talk About Jesus in Everyday Life
Faith shouldn’t only appear during church services. Talk about how God is working through daily situations, decisions, struggles, prayers, and blessings.
Deuteronomy says:
“Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road.” — Deuteronomy 6:7
3. Pray Together
Pray during difficult moments, celebrations, ordinary routines, and important decisions. Prayer teaches children dependence on God.
4. Be Careful How You Speak About the Church
Children who constantly hear negativity about church and God’s people can easily become cynical toward Christianity itself. Kids are not equipped to carry adult frustrations. With God’s help, we can choose words that model grace, wisdom, and honour. Your dinner conversations need to be uplifting.
5. Make Time for Family
Ministry should never replace family connection. Shared meals, conversations, laughter, rest, and memories matter a lot.
6. Admit When You’re Wrong
Parents who apologize demonstrate grace, maturity, and sincerity. Like me you’ve probably said things you wish you hadn’t. “I’m sorry” goes a long way.
7. Encourage Questions
Children need freedom to ask difficult questions about faith without fear of judgment. Honest conversations can help build deep and lasting faith. If they don’t feel like they can ask you, they will ask someone else.
A Legacy That Lasts
The goal isn’t simply raising well-behaved children. The goal is raising sons and daughters who genuinely know and love Jesus for themselves.
That kind of faith is usually formed slowly through everyday moments: family prayers, honest conversations, shared ministry experiences, loving relationships, and authentic living.
At the same time, every parent must remember a difficult but important truth: even if we do everything “right,” our children still have a choice. We can’t force faith into their hearts. Each child must eventually decide for themselves what they will believe and whether they will follow Jesus. Parents are called to faithfully plant, nurture, teach, and model the Gospel, but only God can truly change a heart.
This reality should humble us and also free us from carrying a burden God never intended us to bear. Yes, we are responsible for how we raise them but a child’s spiritual decisions aren’t always a direct reflection of parental success or failure. Faithfulness in parenting doesn’t guarantee a specific outcome, but it does create an environment where children can clearly see the reality of Christ lived out before them. We do our best, God does the rest. And don’t forget to pray like crazy.
Children may not remember every sermon we preached or every ministry accomplishment we achieved, but they’ll remember whether Jesus was alive in our home. When children see faith lived consistently, compassion demonstrated practically, and love modeled authentically, they are far more likely to embrace Jesus as their own Saviour.
The greatest legacy we can leave our children is a genuine example of following Jesus with our whole lives.
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